Run The Race

I am a keyboard fanatic.  Anytime I can use my keyboard rather than the slow, ridiculously painful mouse, I'll do it!  One of my favorite shortcuts is Ctrl Z (or Cmd Z for Mac users).  If I make a change, and it messes everything up on my screen, then "Ctrl Z"!  Ctrl Z is the "undo" command. One time as I was walking through the house with way too much stuff in my hands, I dropped something fragile.  As it was falling, my brain was saying "Ctrl Z! Ctrl Z!"... unfortunately the "all-fixing", "never-failing" keyboard command did not work in real life. As we continue to wait for the adoption to progress, I have to admit that this is turning into one of the most difficult situations in my life.  It will be 2 years this week since we started this process.  Nothing is as it was when we first started, and the only thing in which we have control over is backing out (which I'll discuss more later, but is not really an option in our m...

20 years ago... I was living a nightmare.  At fourteen years old, I was in an extremely unhealthy and abusive relationship.  I had parents who desperately tried to protect me, yet I was so blinded and scared by this young man that I stayed engulfed in the lies and the chaos.  Fourteen years old - and pregnant. It was 20 years ago this week that I ended this child's life through abortion.  I hate saying it out loud, yet I have found healing in my honesty, and, of course, I have found connection with many other hurting women who have made the same choice at sometime in their lives. For many years after taking the life of this little one, I had dreams - and she was a girl in every single dream.  Through the years of my dreams, she grew just as she would have if she lived.  I so clearly remember a dream of her in first grade.  She had these crazy, messy pigtails, and she was getting in trouble for talking when she wasn't supposed to.  Oh, I long...