Run The Race

I often pray the same prayer over and over - I don't mean it is said in tradition or just rote memorization.  It is sincere; a cry from my heart.  At times when I say that prayer, I wonder if I sound like a resounding "gong" - yuck. "... two blind men sitting by the road, hearing that Jesus was passing by, cried out, 'Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!' The crowd sternly told them to be quiet, but they cried out all the more... moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes, and immediately they regained sight and followed Him."  Matthew 20:30-31, 34 Satan wants us to believe that God gets sick of hearing from us - just like the crowd telling the men to be quiet.  The two men in these verses kept crying out - not in complaint, but in faith, believing that this man, Jesus, could and would heal them.   Yesterday morning, my prayers were similar as they have been over the past two years regarding the adoption, but my heart cried out with sl...

Sorry, this post is long, and probably a little less for you than it is just "cheap therapy" for me. Several months ago, I committed to not answering the phone or checking any emails from the adoption agency without stopping first to pray.  How is it, then, that as soon as I saw an email from the agency last Friday, I flipped it right open without hesitation and without praying first?!?! Wish I could take that moment back.  The news in that email was not what I was expecting or hoping to read. Though a batch of kiddos had their paperwork moved to the "Exit Phase", HC's paperwork was not among those taken.  It should have been.  It could have been taken with the last batch that happened in June, but it didn't - so it was "definitely" suppose to progress with this batch.  People who signed their paperwork after us progressed this time around, but we did not.  We don't know why. It is very unlikely that any more batches will be accepted thi...

As I was calling my husband to share the not-so-great, newest adoption news, I looked out the back door and saw Nicki! Who is Nicki?   Nicki is the dog that belongs to the family that lives behind us.  She had gone missing 4 days ago, and I had never prayed so hard for a dog to return to it's owner. Nicki's family has recently gone through a string of unthinkable tragedies, so when Reese and I received news that she had disappeared my heart ached so deeply for them - so we prayed right there.  We looked and looked for Nicki.  When I saw her in the backyard while making my phone call to my husband, she had just been returned and was wrestling and running with the other dog in the yard.  It was a beautiful reunion and answer to prayer! All throughout the week I was very aware that God was answering some very specific prayers I had just started praying.  But when I got the call from the adoption agency that the son we are adopting had to be permanentl...

This is no gimmick!   No down payment required!   In fact, no payments required at all - and it is SATISFACTION GUARANTEED! Okay, enough of the crazy stuff, but it is true.  I found some very sweet words in the Bible a few weeks ago that provide a guaranteed satisfaction. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be SATISFIED."  Matthew 5:6 How many times have you read this verse and didn't think a whole lot of it?  This verse is embedded into many similar verses that say "Blessed are those who" this, that and the other thing.  All of the "blessed" verses have meaning, but they are so simple that it's easy to just gloss over them with little thought at all. Over the past month - as we wait and wonder what will happen with our adoption of HC into our family, I have been praying and thinking about God's promises to me.  Did he promise that He would bring HC into our family?  Did He ever promi...

I continue to attend a M.E.N.D . support group once per month for families that have lost children through miscarriage, stillbirth, or shortly after birth.  This has been such a great source of support for our family since losing Elliot.  I often walk away from this meeting feeling grieved for all the families, but I also feel so uplifted in knowing that we are not alone and that we have such strength in the Lord. This week when I left the group, I simply felt angry about some things. *I HATE the pain that each family endures with the loss. *I hate the questions that we all face.... *I don't like it when I'm at a doctor's office and they ask how many children I have. *I don't like it when people I don't know well tell me "You need to get Reese a brother or sister!" *I don't like that I run into "brick walls" of emotions at times (unexpected triggers regarding our loss) that cause me to cry around strangers. *I don't like tha...

It has been over a year since we began our adoption journey, and it has been over 7 months since we've received our referral to our child that I call HC on this blog - as we've agreed with the agency not to share his information electronically while we are venturing through this process. This weekend I was trying to find more information regarding the all the legal changes and processes that are happening in HCs home country that are affecting the time frame in which we will get to bring him home.  I was connected with some very good resources, but, I'll be honest, it was very disheartening. One of the legal changes that has taken place is for more birth parent rights.  So throughout the process, they contact the birth parent multiple times to ask "Are you sure this is what you want?" - they even ask one more time after the adoptive family travels to the birth country and has a court hearing.  This along with several other changes have greatly lengthened our w...