Assume the Crash Position

The landing gear was stuck as my friend was flying from Fargo, ND to Dallas.  Preparations were being made by the flight crew and the pilots for a potential crash landing.  The Dallas runway was cleared and emergency crews filled the area.  Then the call came from the flight crew to the passengers, "Assume the crash position."

Scary.

I'm thankful that I have never had to assume the crash position on a flight, but there have been many times in my life in which I had to produce "survival" positions in order to protect myself from whatever situation I was in.  These positions come from instinct - I believe that often times they are God-given protective skills.  But what happens when we continually use the protective skill even when crisis is over?

Consider my very unhealthy relationship as a young teen.  This young man was controlling, manipulative, and abusive.  To eventually remove myself from the situation I got into survival position - I mentally took a stance "nobody will ever treat me this way again", "get out of my way - nothing will stop me!"  I physically took a stance by protecting myself against the abuse.

Though this protective skill is what finally removed me from this situation, carrying this same mindset forward into my life did not prove to be so helpful.  Not that I should have allowed others to treat me the way he did, but in order to "protect" myself I cared very little about others feelings.  I controlled, lied and manipulated situations so that nobody could hurt me or tell me what to do.  As a result, I hurt many people and it was difficult to develop healthy relationships.

Think about the child that has parents that fight all the time - denial and shutting things out may actually be a viable skill in order to have a somewhat enjoyable childhood despite the uncontrollable circumstances.  Yet when that same skill is carried into adulthood, problems and hardships are never discussed or worked through.  Relationships can easily be destroyed.

I have other historically valuable protective skills that are sometimes difficult to shed.  But when I begin to rely on my coping mechanisms more than I rely on God, then I have simply made it an idol.  In no way is this healthy.

It is scary to let go of something that once protected us.  

What will we be if we let it go?  How will we cope?      

Do you have a protective skill that has made itself a routine part of your life?  Sometimes these skills show up in the way we spend money, how we treat others, or the way we treat our bodies.  

I encourage you to "let go and let God".  Ask Him him to guide you in healthy coping skills.  If you have someone in your life that you trust and will pray for you, share with them the insight you've had.

Now that I am living out Biblical principles in my relationships and coping mechanisms, I find peace even in the midst of turmoil, my relationships (especially with my husband) are solid, and I am confident of my future.  Life is not perfect, but I am living joyfully within His grace.