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Showing posts from December, 2012

"That's not fair!!!"

The words "That's not fair!" create a shrill for most parents.  When those words come from our children, we want to laugh in their face and say, "Just do it!  I know what's best for you!" Can you imagine if Mary and Joseph had exclaimed, "No God!  This isn't fair.  We are not going to bring a child into this world only that he can die a harsh and horrible death!"  "No God! This isn't fair!  I'm not married yet, so what will the neighbors say.  I've spent my whole life honoring you, now they will all believe that I had sex outside of marriage.  I will be shunned"  "No God!  This isn't fair!  Why should I work so hard to support and pay for the needs of a child that isn't even mine!" ??? Instead of screaming that's not fair, Mary actually said in Luke 1:38, "...may it be done to me according to your word.", and then she told her cousin Elizabeth in Luke 1:48, "For He has had reg

Co-existance of Joy and Grief

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Today is our son, Elliot's, birthday.  Elliot was stillborn on Dec 21, 2011.  Below is a tribute to the time we had with Elliot, and a glimpse of how we continue to recognize and cherish him.  It is not my intention to overwhelm this blog with the theme of loss or grief, but I will be spending the next several posts sharing some of our story and our joys in the midst of it all.  To those who ask, "How are you doing?"... the best answer I can give came from a note I wrote to many friends a month or so after Elliot had died. As I've evaluated my emotions this week and still wrestle with answering the "how are you doing" question - I've realized I can't say "We're fine" because it doesn't do our grief justice, but we also can't say "oh, we are so sad" because it doesn't give our joy justice. I never knew that JOY and GRIEF can so closely co-exist with one another. Though I am grieving so deeply, God is

The Widows and Widowers

So the Bible is pretty clear about taking care of the orphans, the widows and the outsiders.  Whether you believe in the Bible or not, it usually doesn't take much convincing that we should care for widows and widowers.  The concept has certainly hit me a little harder this year as I am learning to care for my Dad in new ways as he is now a widower. Below are 10 ideas of how we can care for the widow and widowers in our life: Care for the caregiver - If an elderly person is now widowed, it is very likely that one of their adult children are caring for him/her, and it is also very likely that the caretaker has children of their own.  Consider taking the kids out for an ice cream or just spending time with them, or offer visiting the widow so that the caregiver can have the evening off or go on vacation.  A well rested caregiver will be a true blessing to their widowed parent. Feed them! - Invite them out to dinner, invite them over, or surprise them by dropping food off at the

Living the promises

This week marks the one year anniversary of our family saying goodbye to our sweet, little boy Elliot.  It's hard to believe that it has been one year ago that Elliot was stillborn.  This year has been full of pain and grieving... we said goodbye to Elliot, my Mother, my Uncle Don, I had a tumor removed (thankfully benign), and I walked away from my career.  Wow.      During church on Sunday, I was reminded of how faithful God is to fulfill His promises to us.  God provided 3 promises to our family over the last year: First regarding the past, then regarding the here and now, and the third is regarding our future. PROMISE #1 - OUR PAST As we were preparing to go to the hospital on December 21, 2011, I prayed to God in shear agony as I knew our lives were about to change.  I prayed, "Dear God, please prepare us... I don't know how you prepare someone for losing a child in such a short time frame between here and the doctor's office, but, please, Father, prepare us.