I'll never fully understand...

Dear Father:

I can’t imagine what it has been like to have adopted me as you have.  I remember the day you adopted me… I was only 9 years old.  Tears filled my eyes.  It was amazing – You chose me!

It only took a year or so before the “new” wore off.  Difficulties came my way, and for some reason, I blamed you.  I’m sorry I ran away at such a young age - how horrifying.  I cringe to think that you know all the things I did while I was away.  I’m so sorry, Father – You must have been crushed.

Over and over I ran away, but you always brought me back.  I remember arguing with you but never feeling condemned.  You were firm but full of grace.  It seems that my rebelliousness through the years has NEVER caused you to waiver.

The river of tears seemed never ending; I felt so lost.  There were countless sleepless nights – You never left my side, and you cried tears with me.  Seems so strange to me now that you showed such compassion, but I rarely recognized it.  No matter who hurt me, you always ended up with the blame.

I’m sure many people looked at my behavior with disgust thinking that I should have been so grateful because  you rescued me – and it’s true – I’ll never know what all you truly rescued me from.

We are so different from each other, so I always assumed you must think I’m crazy, weird or just downright frustrating.  But now that I’m willing to stop and listen to you – it strangely seems that I was somehow made in your image… as if we belong together.  I am different from you, but somehow also the same. 

As the years have passed, I have come to realize to only a small extent the sacrifice and the cost required for you to adopt me.  You had to sacrifice everything – even your life.  Why did you do it?  Why did you choose me?  Even if you give me the answer to those questions, I’m not sure that I will ever fully understand. 

Through a lifetime of love, patience, firm discipline, grace, and sacrifice – I now know that I can fully trust in you.  I can cry out in full assurance, “Abba, Father!”  You are there.  You will always be there.  I am your daughter – forever. 

I love you from the depth of my being.

Halee

"But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.  Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, 'Abba, Father!'  Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God." 
- Galatians 4:4-6

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