I was so wrong!

TEN years people... this Friday, Ron and I have been married for 10 years!  Woohoo!

At Celebrate Recovery I often introduce myself as someone who gets to be a part of a healthy marriage.  I am blown away by this possibility... I thought for sure I had blown it... no grace could be big enough to bring me back to enough of a purified state that would allow me to marry a man that would cherish me.

I WAS WRONG.

God is so much bigger than our choices and our circumstances.  Don't get me wrong; there are still consequences to choices that I made, but the shame associated with those choices are gone and there is a simple reminder often associated with some of the resulting scars - but ultimately all things have been made new, as scripture promises.

Many times I hear stories in books or on the radio that say, "I went into the marriage with blinders on, and I wasn't expecting it to be so hard."  I was exactly the opposite - I went in assuming it was going to be very difficult, but, instead, I have found it to be refreshing and exhilarating.

Ron and I are extremely intentional in our lives and in our marriage.  We don't always see eye to eye, but it never freaks us out because we know without a doubt neither of us are going anywhere, and God will not allow a wedge between us if we honor His principles in how we communicate and work through the situation.  His principles are tried and true.

Our marriage has grown because we allowed ourselves to be molded and shaped in our journey.  For example, I am a "strong and independent" woman - basically, when I do not use my skills as God intended it shows up as "control issues".  Several years ago, I better learned how to use my God given gift of administration in a way that was fruitful in my marriage rather than just trying to be the leader in our household.  This has allowed (and challenged) Ron to become the leader in our household - and, people, let me tell you - it is a BEAUTIFUL thing.  My husband has risen to the occasion; once I got out of his way, he was able to soar.  And, guess what, because he is a gentle, servant type of leader, it doesn't leave me feeling puny and pathetic.  I feel lifted and set free.

I am not Ron's enemy, and he is not my enemy.  For some that may seem pointless to say, but reality is I sometimes treat him like the enemy by scowling or giving him the "stink eye".  Sometimes I will have a trigger from my past, and then place the sins of others onto Ron as if he was the one who committed it against me.  It is at these times that I remember, "His mouth is full of sweetness, and he is wholly desirable.  This is my beloved and this is my friend." (Song of Solomon 5:16).

I don't share this story with you so that you will think our marriage is perfect or because I want to make you vomit with the "schmoopiness" of it all.  I want to share with you because this is the reality of God's grace.  Being married to Ron is so much greater than I could have anticipated, and it is one of the greatest joys of my life.  He is truly my best friend.

Ron, I love you, and thank you for challenging me to be a woman of God, for loving me unconditionally, for cherishing me, being an amazing father, and for not hindering my adventurous spirit.  You have been everything I could have asked for and more.