It's in the Air
It is such a beautiful time of year. The weather just beckons our outdoor play! There is a smell and an ambiance that simply doesn't exist any other time of year but fall.
As I walk outside, I feel as if I should run and play because of the beauty that exists, yet there is some sort of fog in my mind. It's a strange feeling that is hard to describe.
I know what it is. It is a lingering of the feelings I had during this season in years past. The air simply reminds me of the months leading up to Elliot's birth as well as the months following my Mother's death. The months leading to Elliot's birth were expectant and fun but also fat and exhausted. I remember running in the "Race for the Cure" with my big belly; I could see people pick up the pace as I passed them, thinking to themselves "there's no way I can get beat by a pregnant woman"!
I have historically loved dressing up and making costumes at Halloween, especially with Reese. When I was pregnant with Elliot, I dressed up as the Universe - and my belly was the sun. It was so much fun. Now, trying to find the creativity and the drive to make costumes seems like a distant past. It's the air... it shifts my mind to another time.
A dear friend of ours, Hazel, once confessed that after losing her husband of 50+ years that every spring was a challenge to her. For 2 or 3 spring seasons she lost her ability to see flowers in color; instead they appeared black and white.
This is my second fall without Elliot. It's better than last fall, but there is still this discomfort and disappointment that things are not as they should be. The joy still exists as my Lord has not forsaken me.
Philipians 4:8 states:
"... whatever is true; whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
So today, as I face the fall air which contains the expectations and the disappointments of the past, I turn my mind upon Truth and things that are excellent and worthy of praise - of which there are many. I have a growing marriage, my 6 year old rocks my world, I have had several friends come to the Lord and be baptized this year, I have reunited with old friends, we are expecting another child through adoption next summer, and Ron and I have been able to pursue some things that have been on our hearts for years. What true beauty.
Are you struggling? What does Fall bring for you and your family?
Father God -
I pray for those who are grieving and struggling. May Your Word and Truth be most prevalent. Clothe us in Your strength. Father, bring a new hope for us during this season - one that is undeniably connected to Your grace, providing a peace that surpasses understanding. - Amen
So what is looming over my head?
As I walk outside, I feel as if I should run and play because of the beauty that exists, yet there is some sort of fog in my mind. It's a strange feeling that is hard to describe.
I know what it is. It is a lingering of the feelings I had during this season in years past. The air simply reminds me of the months leading up to Elliot's birth as well as the months following my Mother's death. The months leading to Elliot's birth were expectant and fun but also fat and exhausted. I remember running in the "Race for the Cure" with my big belly; I could see people pick up the pace as I passed them, thinking to themselves "there's no way I can get beat by a pregnant woman"!
I have historically loved dressing up and making costumes at Halloween, especially with Reese. When I was pregnant with Elliot, I dressed up as the Universe - and my belly was the sun. It was so much fun. Now, trying to find the creativity and the drive to make costumes seems like a distant past. It's the air... it shifts my mind to another time.
A dear friend of ours, Hazel, once confessed that after losing her husband of 50+ years that every spring was a challenge to her. For 2 or 3 spring seasons she lost her ability to see flowers in color; instead they appeared black and white.
This is my second fall without Elliot. It's better than last fall, but there is still this discomfort and disappointment that things are not as they should be. The joy still exists as my Lord has not forsaken me.
Philipians 4:8 states:
"... whatever is true; whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
So today, as I face the fall air which contains the expectations and the disappointments of the past, I turn my mind upon Truth and things that are excellent and worthy of praise - of which there are many. I have a growing marriage, my 6 year old rocks my world, I have had several friends come to the Lord and be baptized this year, I have reunited with old friends, we are expecting another child through adoption next summer, and Ron and I have been able to pursue some things that have been on our hearts for years. What true beauty.
Are you struggling? What does Fall bring for you and your family?
Father God -
I pray for those who are grieving and struggling. May Your Word and Truth be most prevalent. Clothe us in Your strength. Father, bring a new hope for us during this season - one that is undeniably connected to Your grace, providing a peace that surpasses understanding. - Amen
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