She Was Ready
For me, one of the most amazing stories in the Bible is where the angel comes to tell Mary she will become the mother of Jesus - Son of God. After gaining some clarification from the angel, she said, "... may it be done to me according to your word." I don't think she could possibly fully grasp at that moment all that being the mother of God's son would entail, but I do believe she knew it was going to change her life forever - and it wouldn't be easy.
Sometimes it is difficult to step into a role that we know will be time consuming, and may require more of our heart than we feel capable of giving. I want to share a story about a person in my life that was ready to accept that role, and it has, in turn, encouraged me deeply in my faith walk with God. That person is Pam.
On December 21, 2011 - many of you know my story... Being very pregnant, I awoke early knowing something wasn't right with the baby. I had some Bible and prayer time before waking my husband. He had just started a new job, so we decided that he would go to work, and I would go to the doctor and call him with any update.
In the back of my mind, I think I knew this was not a visit to the doctor's office that I should take alone. So, at 6:30am - I called my friend Pam.
"Hello," Pam said.
"Good morning... I'm so sorry to call you this early. Were you still sleeping? I didn't want to wake you," I said, feeling guilty.
"Actually, sweet heart - I think I was sitting here waiting for you to call."
She was waiting for my call? Pam went on to explain that she had also woken early that morning, and felt very strongly to start reading James 1 in her Bible. James chapter 1 is filled with stories of withstanding hardship and trials. I don't think Pam knew exactly who was going to call, but that someone was in need; therefore she had been spending her morning doing just as the Lord had asked so that she would be prepared for the difficult day ahead.
Pam did, in fact, go with me to the hospital. She looked at the same ultrasound of Elliot's lifeless body as I did. She is the one who called my husband after we received news that Elliot died. She did not leave our side all day long.
Elliot was born just after 10pm that night. She joined us in the room as we held him (along with a few other friends), and she adored him... not his body, but the boy that God had created and had so graciously taken home.
This was not the first nor the last time Pam has invested so much into us. Her love for the Lord is so contagious. We have celebrated much together and we have grieved much together, and her sincerity always shines through.
God used Pam (and she allowed Him) to play a vital role in learning to forgive my abuser - which was a turning point for every aspect of my life. I was allowing that man to still control so much of my life because of my bitterness and by trying to hide the pain by a variety of other unsuccessful avenues. This was not an easy role for Pam because I had such a hard heart. When I required someone to be firm with me, she would do it. When I needed reassurance she would do it.
I could continue on with the many things we've done together... she was in the room with us when Reese was born; we've served and grown so closely together in ministry the last 11 years. She and her amazingly awesome husband Bud mentored us through our time of engagement and in our early years of marriage - which helped me to learn what it really means to honor Ron.
Best of all - Pam has not always been perfect in her role. Like Mary, Pam is just a woman. She has physical and emotional limits - which means that I cannot fully rely on her to meet all my needs. Her love for the Lord and her inability always points me back to my one true Healer, Jesus Christ.
I can't imagine a better friend and mentor.
As we near the anniversary of our sweet Elliot entering the gates of Heaven - I celebrate one of the many way that God has made Himself present to me during my grief - He woke Pam up early that morning and prepared her for my phone call - and, thankfully, she accepted His prompting.
Dear Pam:
I don't think words can express my deep gratitude for all your love through the years. Thank you for challenging me, teaching me, being an example... and, most of all, for not being perfect. You and Bud are truly precious to me, and you have had a tremendous impact on me and our family. I love you.
-Halee
Sometimes it is difficult to step into a role that we know will be time consuming, and may require more of our heart than we feel capable of giving. I want to share a story about a person in my life that was ready to accept that role, and it has, in turn, encouraged me deeply in my faith walk with God. That person is Pam.
On December 21, 2011 - many of you know my story... Being very pregnant, I awoke early knowing something wasn't right with the baby. I had some Bible and prayer time before waking my husband. He had just started a new job, so we decided that he would go to work, and I would go to the doctor and call him with any update.
In the back of my mind, I think I knew this was not a visit to the doctor's office that I should take alone. So, at 6:30am - I called my friend Pam.
"Hello," Pam said.
"Good morning... I'm so sorry to call you this early. Were you still sleeping? I didn't want to wake you," I said, feeling guilty.
"Actually, sweet heart - I think I was sitting here waiting for you to call."
She was waiting for my call? Pam went on to explain that she had also woken early that morning, and felt very strongly to start reading James 1 in her Bible. James chapter 1 is filled with stories of withstanding hardship and trials. I don't think Pam knew exactly who was going to call, but that someone was in need; therefore she had been spending her morning doing just as the Lord had asked so that she would be prepared for the difficult day ahead.
Pam did, in fact, go with me to the hospital. She looked at the same ultrasound of Elliot's lifeless body as I did. She is the one who called my husband after we received news that Elliot died. She did not leave our side all day long.
Elliot was born just after 10pm that night. She joined us in the room as we held him (along with a few other friends), and she adored him... not his body, but the boy that God had created and had so graciously taken home.
This was not the first nor the last time Pam has invested so much into us. Her love for the Lord is so contagious. We have celebrated much together and we have grieved much together, and her sincerity always shines through.
God used Pam (and she allowed Him) to play a vital role in learning to forgive my abuser - which was a turning point for every aspect of my life. I was allowing that man to still control so much of my life because of my bitterness and by trying to hide the pain by a variety of other unsuccessful avenues. This was not an easy role for Pam because I had such a hard heart. When I required someone to be firm with me, she would do it. When I needed reassurance she would do it.
I could continue on with the many things we've done together... she was in the room with us when Reese was born; we've served and grown so closely together in ministry the last 11 years. She and her amazingly awesome husband Bud mentored us through our time of engagement and in our early years of marriage - which helped me to learn what it really means to honor Ron.
Best of all - Pam has not always been perfect in her role. Like Mary, Pam is just a woman. She has physical and emotional limits - which means that I cannot fully rely on her to meet all my needs. Her love for the Lord and her inability always points me back to my one true Healer, Jesus Christ.
I can't imagine a better friend and mentor.
As we near the anniversary of our sweet Elliot entering the gates of Heaven - I celebrate one of the many way that God has made Himself present to me during my grief - He woke Pam up early that morning and prepared her for my phone call - and, thankfully, she accepted His prompting.
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect results that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing... Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1: 2-4, 12
Dear Pam:
I don't think words can express my deep gratitude for all your love through the years. Thank you for challenging me, teaching me, being an example... and, most of all, for not being perfect. You and Bud are truly precious to me, and you have had a tremendous impact on me and our family. I love you.
-Halee
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