Christmas season from now until the time I leave this world will contain a mix of emotions as we celebrate the birth of the Messiah and also remember saying goodbye to our son Elliot (December 21, 2011).
Many people say that Christmas and Thanksgiving are about being with friends and family - though I agree that spending time with those we love is extremely valuable - it is not the reason nor should it be the ultimate focus. For those that are deeply grieving - this mindset leaves many feeling lonely or with an abundance of guilt in a season that is about hope and an eternal future and blessing.
I believe that if our family does not take this time to remember Elliot then we pass up an opportunity to give glory to God. And, as for the Christmas season, my focus has been to do only those things that draw us to Jesus and to have flexible enough hearts and schedules that we will have opportunity to serve/give selflessly when we are led.
Involving ourselves in obligatory events no longer has a place in this season.
This year we remembered/celebrated Elliot's life by attending a candlelight ceremony in honor of all babies in Heaven and we put up a tiny little Christmas tree in our home (last year we put it at the graveside, but the weather did not work out well for us this year!). On Saturday (the actual anniversary), we:
- Looked back through our scrapbook/pictures
- Wrote thank you letters to several who have deeply invested in us the past few years
- Reese drew a beautiful picture of God holding Elliot in his hands
- Had a few moments of special prayer and thanks
- And of course we had cake (Reese was sure Elliot would have wanted Winnie the Pooh this year)
Several people called to remember with us, and one sweet friend even stopped by with a small chocolate cake with a "2" on top. It has been a peaceful and beautiful time. I am so grateful for everything.
There has been this amazing sense of calm in our home this whole season. We put up simple decorations for our Christmas celebration, and Reese and I made an advent wreath out of a paper plate and construction paper.
Most nights in December we do a devotional and fun, simple activity (from Adventures in Odyssey) and light an advent candle. Reese loved building a tent in the living room, turning out all the lights with the exception of a flashlight - then we recalled what it must have been like for the shepherds in the field, especially when the angels came! We also had a night where we put different family/friends' names in a bowl, then we would have to (nicely) imitate the name we drew. This was to remind us that we should also be imitators of Christ.
As for serving, we have been able to take advantage of some very special opportunities.
If we are not wise in how we approach this season, then we will find ourselves dreading the Christmas celebration. Instead, it has been full of true love, joy and peace.
Merry Christmas, Friends.
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| Happy Birthday sweet Elliot! We miss you. |
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| God's arms holding Elliot. By Reese Wood |
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| Out tiny tree for Elliot. Ornaments provided by MomMom and friends. |
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| Loving the December snow! |
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| Our Advent wreath |
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| Reese just before Christmas program at church |
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