Run The Race

I continue to attend a M.E.N.D . support group once per month for families that have lost children through miscarriage, stillbirth, or shortly after birth.  This has been such a great source of support for our family since losing Elliot.  I often walk away from this meeting feeling grieved for all the families, but I also feel so uplifted in knowing that we are not alone and that we have such strength in the Lord. This week when I left the group, I simply felt angry about some things. *I HATE the pain that each family endures with the loss. *I hate the questions that we all face.... *I don't like it when I'm at a doctor's office and they ask how many children I have. *I don't like it when people I don't know well tell me "You need to get Reese a brother or sister!" *I don't like that I run into "brick walls" of emotions at times (unexpected triggers regarding our loss) that cause me to cry around strangers. *I don't like tha...

Usually when I am doing a speaking event, if I ask, "What is the definition of insanity?", I think more than half the audience reply in one accord with the answer - "Doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result." That is the definition of insanity that I am always trying to get from the audience.  Many people start attending Celebrate Recovery (CR) or other support groups to get away from or reduce the insanity in their lives. Several years ago, as I was planning to teach at CR, I kept thinking of all these seemingly funny skits about "insanity" that I could use from my own personal life, but as I was in prayer one day it came over me that no skit would be appropriate this time around.  There is nothing funny about insanity - it costs us our relationships, our jobs, our peace, ... our connection with God. People are trained to identify counterfeit money not by studying counterfeit money; they are trained by studying ...

"If anyone considers himself to be religious yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless." James 1:26 I have been wrestling with this a lot lately.  My tongue is wretched toward others at times.  At work, I lack patience and I expect more of others than I should; toward my husband I respond defensively to innocent questions and gestures, and, sadly, toward God I sometimes resound with preemptive anger and fear that we may not get to bring HC home. As I have been reflecting and praying about the impact of "my tongue" the last few weeks, I have gained insight as to the root of my responses.  Now the hard part - changing. The Root Work - Since I am no longer a full-time, hard-core employee, I find myself desiring to conquer the workplace world, but I can no longer do that just being behind the scenes working part-time.  Because I have been putting some of my own personal value on what I accomplish at work, I ...

The landing gear was stuck as my friend was flying from Fargo, ND to Dallas.  Preparations were being made by the flight crew and the pilots for a potential crash landing.  The Dallas runway was cleared and emergency crews filled the area.  Then the call came from the flight crew to the passengers, "Assume the crash position." Scary. I'm thankful that I have never had to assume the crash position on a flight, but there have been many times in my life in which I had to produce "survival" positions in order to protect myself from whatever situation I was in.  These positions come from instinct - I believe that often times they are God-given protective skills.  But what happens when we continually use the protective skill even when crisis is over? Consider my very unhealthy relationship as a young teen.  This young man was controlling, manipulative, and abusive.  To eventually remove myself from the situation I got into survival position - I mentall...