Run The Race

I am a keyboard fanatic.  Anytime I can use my keyboard rather than the slow, ridiculously painful mouse, I'll do it!  One of my favorite shortcuts is Ctrl Z (or Cmd Z for Mac users).  If I make a change, and it messes everything up on my screen, then "Ctrl Z"!  Ctrl Z is the "undo" command. One time as I was walking through the house with way too much stuff in my hands, I dropped something fragile.  As it was falling, my brain was saying "Ctrl Z! Ctrl Z!"... unfortunately the "all-fixing", "never-failing" keyboard command did not work in real life. As we continue to wait for the adoption to progress, I have to admit that this is turning into one of the most difficult situations in my life.  It will be 2 years this week since we started this process.  Nothing is as it was when we first started, and the only thing in which we have control over is backing out (which I'll discuss more later, but is not really an option in our m...

Do you know what a "blue chip" is? At Celebrate Recovery, blue chips are offered to mark dates in which we surrendered something to God.  People take blue chips for a variety of reasons (such as drinking, anger, control, a specific relationship, etc.), and I, too, have taken my fair share of them through the years.  Some of the things I have followed through on and left in the Lord's hands (ie. losing Elliot, forgiving seemingly "unforgivable" sins, the way I treat my body, etc.), but others... not so much (strangely I can't remember what these chips were for; I guess I wasn't that serious about laying it down). Written on the blue chip are words from the first part of 2 Corinthian 12:9, "My grace is enough for you" After losing Elliot and my Mom, fear absolutely gripped me as I began to believe that everyone I loved would be ripped from me.  Since that point, I start each day by taking a commitment to God that I will trust Him with...

"Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, and He will hear my voice.  He will redeem my soul in peace from the battle which is against me, for they are many who strive with me." Psalm 54:17-18 Family pictures... What a wonderful opportunity to record seasons in a family's life.  We had an opportunity to get a free family photo this last week, and it was a little bitter sweet.  How can we get a family photo when so many from our family are "missing"?   I prayed before our photo session that I could be thankful because what we have is enough.  Our picture time was a sweet moment for our family, and our photographer actually did a beautiful job of helping us incorporate a small piece of Elliot and HC into some of our pictures.  Ofcourse I also wore a BEAUTIFUL necklace given to me by my mother-in-law, which has a trinket for each of my children on earth or in Heaven, in America or in Asia!  One day we will all truly be togethe...

A small group of us have been reading through the Psalms together and discussing them.  During our time together this last week, the majority of our discussions landed on forgiveness... or lack thereof.  Each of us (including me) had a story of unforgiveness - the way it stirs our hearts and minds.  Some of our stories included people still in our lives, others will never see the "offender" again - yet each story stirred an amazing amount of emotion in each of us. God taught me to forgive my abuser almost 10 years ago.  There are times when something triggers a pain from the past and I have to go through the process all over again.  After forgiving this person, it seems like I could forgive anything, yet I still struggle with it at times.  So as we discussed our unforgiveness this week, I was really pondering the "hows" of forgiveness. David, a man who wrote the majority of the Psalms and was also chosen by God to play a significant role leading up to ...